Thursday, October 6, 2011

Peeling Back Another Layer . . .

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f--k on.” ~ Tupac Shakur

I had one of those "aha" moments today on my drive home from work.  One of those my good friend Regina, co-founder of Romancing Your Soul, often speaks of.  She also likens each new "aha" moment to peeling back the layers of an onion.  Along our spiritual or human paths, we don't often become the best version of ourselves all at once.  Instead, we learn and become more aware with each life lesson we encounter, much like uncovering the layers of an onion as we peel them back. With each layer we unveil about ourselves, we awaken more and more to the very core of our being, our highest nature, our heart, our spirit.

I've been diligently working on what Regina calls "mastering a mind with a mind of its own".  Paying attention to my thoughts as I think them, and being the 'chair' of my mind committee.

As I was driving home from work, I realized just how judgmental I've been toward myself.  I'd become pro at the first option Mr. Shakur mentions in the quote above.  Over-analyzing everything.  Being very critical of everything I did, everything I said, everything I thought.  Yep, even when I thought it was me in charge of those thoughts, I realized it was really my mind.  It had simply become old, old habit to over-analyze everything.  So much so that it was "normal" to me.  Today, I came to the realization that that "normal" just didn't suit the real ME anymore.

For one thing, since becoming pregnant, I've noticed just how much more these negative habits have an adverse effect on my body.  When I'm anxious, when I allow things to stress me out, I can feel it immediately in my body.  It becomes tense, my heart beats fast, my stomach begins to hurt.  I dislike this feeling!  The only thing that makes me feel better is to take a deep, deep breath, relax my mind, and let all worries dissipate.

So, I immediately began putting into practice a new habit.  I began "leav[ing] the pieces on the floor and mov[ing] the f--k on."

Now, no more: 1) being overly critical of myself and every move I make; 2) over-analyzing every situation; 3) thinking about what could have, should have, would have been.

And . . . on to the next layer of my being!

Good day and Namaste <3

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